Written for Andrew and Scott after their meeting with Murphy Sat. 08/01/15

How dare you, Murphy! You contemptible, villainous trickster! It’s bad enough that you have to pick on me constantly; now you are picking on my grandson and his friend? I know you love to discombobulate people; I have experienced your evil ways too many times. But this is too much!

 

First, you made them wait for three hours for a bus home, sitting around the bus station from nine pm to eleven pm? And when they went for a break and drink, you messed up the chocolate chill that was meant to soothe their feelings; that was just plain reprehensible! And to cap it all, you arranged for them to be locked out of their home when they got there a 1:30 in the morning! You were foiled on that, though. Their friend was home and let them in.

 

You inveterate, pernicious, obnoxious blackguard! You knave! To perdition with you; you are an anathema to all, and I call on all the Irish saints to send you to the bode of Old Nick: St. Patrick with your staff, St. Bridgit with your veil, Saint Martin with your mantle and Saint Michael with your shield, send this reprehensible blackguard to the nether world, there to consort with Satan for eternity, and free us from his evil ways. Amen.